


The Greatest Sacrifice

by benoitblanc



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Implied Smut, Sacrifice, Vormir
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-02
Updated: 2019-08-02
Packaged: 2020-07-29 07:49:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,312
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20078701
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/benoitblanc/pseuds/benoitblanc
Summary: the reader and steve survive the snap, however when both of them end up together on vormir one of them has to make a life-altering decision.





	The Greatest Sacrifice

**Author's Note:**

> hi ! so i have this posted as well on my tumblr @/valkyriesthcr if you want to read it there as well ! there is implied smut however it's not explicitly written out. this ! ends ! in ! angst ! tw for sacrifice, implied smut, mild cussing probably and angst.

Truth be told, no one had been the same since half of the universe’s population turned to dust. The Avengers were practically no more, the world was descending into chaos, and you only blamed yourself. You blamed yourself for not stopping Thanos, for failing at your mission to protect people. You felt at fault for the deaths of countless amounts of people and creatures spread out across the universe. Perhaps you were wrong to feel this way, perhaps you were blaming yourself for something in which everyone was at fault. But that didn’t stop you, and for four years you lived in nothing but self-hatred over the mere fact that you couldn’t blame anyone but yourself for the deaths that were faced. For the pain brought across the universe, for the families separated and the people who were confused about what happened.

“You have got to stop thinking about it, (Y/N).“ You heard that a lot, and it was mostly from your best friend Steve. You sent a glance in his direction, raising your head from Natasha’s shoulder as you stood from the arm of the chair to meet him. He knew what was coming, as he automatically opened his arm for the impending embrace that you would pull him into. "I missed you.” You muttered into his chest, “I was only gone for a few hours.” Steve said with a small laugh. As you pulled away from the hug he raised an eyebrow at your outfit, “Is that… are you wearing Natasha’s shirt and my jacket?” He questioned, beginning to search your appearance more for any other “borrowed” articles of clothing. “I am, these are Tony’s shoes too. They’re a little big but they make me feel rich.” You said with a shrug as you sat down on the couch near the corner. Steve joining you and wrapping an arm around your shoulders, which prompted Natasha to take her queue to leave.

See, you and Steve lived like you were a domestic couple, but you weren’t. Neither of you had confessed that you loved each other, but it was almost as though you didn’t need to. You cuddled each other, kissed a few times and practically acted like you were married. Of course, you had said you loved each other, but it had never been with that sort of romantic connotation. “Steve?” You questioned, your head rested against his shoulder. “Hmm.” He hummed in response. “H- No that sounds weird… I’m gonna say it anyway. How do you define our relationship?” you questioned, your head not leaving his shoulder until he turned to look at you. “How do you want to define our relationship?” He questioned, the flirtatious tone was prominent in his voice. “I-” You were interrupted, all too soon for your liking.

"Steve, (Y/N), you need to see this,“ Natasha said, what seemed to be concern and, maybe a bit of fear present in her eyes. You and Steve quickly got up, following Natasha to one of the screens that showed the camera at the front entrance. "That- That’s Scott.” You muttered, not really the best words you could have used since it was obvious that Scott was the person on that camera. He even identified himself as “Ant-Man”. But Scott Lang was believed to be dead, you had mourned for your fallen friends only to find him right in front of you again. Man, is that how Thor felt all those times Loki faked his own death?

Despite yourselves, the three of you allowed Scott into the compound, rushing to greet him at the entrance. “Scott!” You said, rather enthusiastically as you ran towards your long lost friend, pulling him into a tight hug. Scott was quick to hug back, honestly, it just seemed like he was relieved to see a familiar face. God only knows what kind of story he had to tell, as far as any of you knew he was one of the victims of The Snap. As you lead Scott to wear you and Steve had been before, you watched as he looked around frantically before he began explaining where he was, and how long he had been there. Of course, the quantum realm stuff really didn’t show you that much, you knew he was involved with that type of thing, you ended up riding with him in the back of the van to Berlin, he told you quite a bit. What surprised you was the fact that to him the past five years of your life went by in an instant, that to him he wasn’t around during the chaotic transformation of the earth. But you had no idea what he was trying to get at with his words; until it clicked that he was recommending that you try time travel.

While the idea seemed like it was impossible, the way that he was explaining it made it seem like it was possible. “So we go through with this idea. How are we ever going to find a way to do it?” You questioned, but you knew what the answer was going to be. Which is how you ended up sitting in the backseat of a car with Scott. Natasha and Steve sat in the front, as you glanced out of the window before bringing your attention back to the other people in the car. “What if Tony doesn’t want to help us?” You asked them, you knew it was probably running through the mind of everyone but Scott. “We just hope that he does, I guess,” Natasha said. “Why wouldn’t he want to?” Scott questioned, it had slipped your mind that he probably had no idea about the family, he probably didn’t even know about the wedding. “Tony has a family now, he might not want to risk losing that.” You explained, which seemed to surprise Scott but he knew how much time had passed, so there was a bit of understanding. “Oh,” Scott said, a simple response.

The drive to Tony’s home wasn’t really that long, it couldn’t have been any more than three hours in the car. You had spent most of it sleeping, truth be told if you thought that the world going back to normal was in any way possible you wouldn’t have slept on the road trip. But you didn’t, you thought that there was no changing what had happened. As you pulled into the driveway you started feeling anxious, you had no idea how Tony was going to react to what was about to be proposed to him. You were the first out of the car, and the first to walk up the porch. Truly, you were the one who had been most silent about your feelings so seeing people that you hadn’t seen in a while was something that you were more than excited about. So you were quick to pull Tony into a tight hug, Tony who easily reciprocated but couldn’t help but laugh at how eager you were to see an old friend. You had visited Tony a few times, but you spent most of the time at the Avengers compound or taking the time to go and get a report on Thor from Valkyrie.

"See, someone missed me,“ Tony said, more jokingly than anything as he pulled back from the hug, causing you to laugh a bit. "Of course I did.” You muttered, causing him to laugh a bit as well, but quietly gave you an “I missed you too”. However, you knew the light moment wouldn’t last forever, as you all made your way to Tony’s porch and began to explain to him the situation. You tuned it out because you knew what his answer was going to be, you knew he was going to say no because just about anyone that spoke to Tony after the incident knew that he was traumatized. “What about you, you haven’t said anything (Y/N).” Tony said, causing everyone’s attention to you. But you didn’t know what to say. “I… I want to get back the people we lost, but I didn’t really think you were going to say yes when we came here in the first place.” You admitted, feeling the gaze of disappointment from Scott you turned your attention to him. “I’m sorry, Scott. I want to do this, you know I do.” You said, more of as a mumble than anything.

Sooner than later, you all returned to the call before deciding you would visit with Bruce or… Hulk… whatever he was going by now. You were sat on the same side of the booth as Natasha and Steve, smushed between Steve and the window but you didn’t really mind. Truth be told, you hadn’t spoken much to Bruce since he decided to combine himself with the Hulk. You just didn’t really feel normal seeing him or speaking to him with him not being the person that you remember being friends with all those years ago. Plus, the poor guy had turned into a bit of a meme after most of the people who made them were victims of Thanos. Which is why it didn’t surprise you when kids came over asking him for a photo and being rude to Scott. You raised an eyebrow before sending a look to Scott, “I’d take a picture with you.” You muttered reassuringly before he rolled his eyes, “You have to say that, you’re my friend.” He said sarcastically, however, he was clearly fighting a smile. You could feel Steve looking at you, you turned to look at him, the amusement clear in his eyes. “Would you take a picture with me?” He asked, before you shook your head. “I have taken pictures with you, dipshit.” You muttered. Before watching the kids walk away which meant that it was back to business.

The next day you all would begin experimenting, but for the time being you all headed back to the base and allowed Bruce to figure out how he was going to make the van work, and how he was going to get it back from storage. You were sat on the couch again, however this time you didn’t have that certain feeling of self-blame and hopelessness as you flipped to an old episode of The Office on the television, this time you felt like there was a chance that you were going to be able to fix what happened. You felt the couch go down a bit beside you and looked over to be faced with Steve. “Hey.” He said, and you could tell something in his demeanor had changed too. It was obvious, everyone was in a better mood now that they felt like there was a way for an order to be restored to the world. “Hey.” You replied, a smile present on your face as you set the remote down beside you.

"Sure you don’t want to get some sleep, tomorrow could be a busy day,“ Steve said to you, his eyes locked with yours. "It could, yeah. But it’s like Christmas Eve, I don’t want to be tired or oversleep the next day, but I can’t sleep when I’m so eager.” You replied. Your attention lost on the television as you looked at Steve. “And… I think there’s a part of me that’s afraid.” His eyebrows furrowed, “Of what?” He questioned, his now completely full attention on you. “I don’t know, I just don’t think it’s going to be as easy as going back and getting the stones, Steve. It can’t be that easy, there has to be something… something that makes it difficult.” You explained, and he seemed to understand what you were saying. His hand quickly found yours, and you responded easily, intertwining your fingers with his. “Whatever happens, we’ll do it together. Okay?” He asked, and you nodded. “We will, always.” He nodded before a line from the show caught your attention and caused you to snort. You decided to just pay attention to the television, your head rested on Steve’s shoulder, one of his arms wrapped around your waist and the other hand holding yours, somewhat reassuringly but mostly absentmindedly. You fell asleep shortly after, and Steve didn’t want to wake you so in waiting for you to wake up, he fell asleep as well. It was Natasha who came in hours later and found you essentially laying on top of Steve and turned off the television and light. She also grabbed a pillow and blanket and placed the pillow under Steve’s head and the blanket on top of you.

When you woke the next morning, you noticed that someone moving below you was what caused you to wake up. Your eyes quickly opened to find Steve also waking up, and seemingly being just as confused as you were before remembering what happened. “Morning.” You muttered, not even wanting to know how bad you looked, and judging by Steve’s frazzled hair you probably weren’t looking too good. “Morning.” You said in response. You slowly started to get up, not really knowing how you were supposed to climb off of him on the small couch. “We don’t have to get up its sunrise-” He started before you raised an eyebrow. “Steve we’re not even in a bed, do you really wanna lay on the couch all morning?” You questioned, about halfway through the process before he sighed in defeat and allowed you to stand, following suit. “I’ll see you in a little bit.” You told him, before wandering back to your room to get showered and dressed for the day.

The beginning of the day was slow, between you being so nervous and shaky that you almost fell down in the shower, and you dropping a pan of scrambled eggs on the floor, it was also a mess. you had opted to wear a pair of black jeans, because black looks good with everything, a black t-shirt, that Tony was quick to point out was his and had no idea how you even had it, and a pair of black boots, because your only other shoes were blue and wouldn’t have matched. However, the slow morning had turned into an eventful day since not only had you figured out time travel, in some capacity, but Tony had come and decided he wanted to help after all, which was, of course, going to lead to spending a day and a half figuring out time travel and the plan before executing it.

That night, you were back on the couch again. However, unlike the previous night, you weren’t just accompanied by Steve, but also Natasha and Tony. Bruce had gone off with Rocket to get Thor, so he wasn’t going to be there for the night. You were sat in between Steve and Tony, Natasha was fast asleep on her favorite chair, and you were watching one of Tony’s favorite movies. “How’s my shirt.” teased Tony, causing you to let out a groan. “For God’s sake, I didn’t know it was yours okay.” You said, exasperation clear in your voice causing him to chuckle. It’s fine, you look good in it.“ He said, before continuing to pay attention to the television. Your eyes wandered to Steve, who also seemed rather entranced in the movie but broke his attention to it to look back at you. You wanted to ask him if he’d let you stay in his room for the night, because you really didn’t want to be alone, but you knew that Tony would either tease you relentlessly about it or, if Steve said no, would offer to let you stay with him since ever since he had Morgan he had really took it upon himself to treat most women in his life like his daughter, which you didn’t really mind. And you wouldn’t really mind the offer to sleep there, since you really did want the company, but you also wanted to spend time with Steve.

Once the movie was over, Tony went to bed, and Natasha had woken up from his footsteps and followed suit. Leaving you with Steve. "You seemed to have something on your mind, what was it?” He asked you, clearly referring to how strange you had been acting for the last few hours. “I don’t… uh… want to sleep alone can I stay in your room?” You asked him, clearly nervous. “If-If not Tony or Natasha will probably let me-” Steve cut you off, “Yes, you can stay in my room.” He said, before turning off the television and light and leading you to his room. You followed Steve and sat down on the bed, and he handed you one of his button downs so you wouldn’t have to sleep in your own clothing. He went to undress in his bathroom and you put his shirt on and neatly folded your discarded clothes, placing them on a dresser and going to sit on the bed with him. As he turned the light off and joined you in the bed, it wasn’t awkward like either of you had expected it to be. You laid apart for a little while before you rested your head on his chest, and he quickly wrapped his arms around you. It seemed like both of you were comforted by not being alone.

"We’ll be okay, we all will.“ Steve said, but he didn’t really seem like he believed it. No one was positive that everything was going to turn out, you didn’t even have a plan yet about what you wanted to do in order to get the stones besides going back in time. "I hope so.” You said, before falling asleep with him. The next morning was the day that truthfully no one was prepared for. You got up, putting on your black jeans, shoes and shirt from yesterday. You knew Steve wouldn’t be awake for a little bit but you wanted to make sure that you got some spare clothes to change into. Which is how you ended up barging into Tony’s room at four in the morning. “(Y/N)? What are you… Do you need something?” He questioned, “Yeah, taking another shirt.” You said before grabbing the one you remembered him wearing when you first met, the Black Sabbath shirt. “Really? That’s why you’re in my room at four in the morning? I could sleep naked-” “I can’t see your body, Tony, you’re wearing blankets.” You said, before walking back to the door. “Thank you, goodnight.” You said before you snuck back into the room with Steve, or tried to, he was awake. “Where-” “I robbed Tony.” You muttered, “Wanna go back to sleep?” You asked him, taking your shoes off before he shook his head. “No… If this does go wrong like you think it does I want to be awake for as long as I can be.” He said, sleep still clear in his voice. You sat next to him and snorted, “Aren’t you a little ray of sunshine in the morning.” You joked before he laughed a bit, “I’m not the one who decided to rob Tony.” He replied. “Fair point.” You said before setting the shirt you took down and looking over at Steve.

"The other day you asked me about our relationship, we never finished that conversation.“ Steve said, breaking the silence. Your face turned bright red as you recalled that. "Yeah, I remember.” You said to him, your eyes not leaving his. “Well Steve, how do you want to define our relationship?” You asked him, repeating the question that he had asked you after you started that conversation. Steve seemed to be at a loss for words, like he knew what he wanted but he didn’t know how he was supposed to say it. His hand slowly moved to hold your cheek, before he started leaning in. It was like your world has slowed down as you started leaning too, your hand going to rest on top of the one he had placed on your cheek before your lips met. The kiss was soft at first, before it became more passionate as the unspoken feelings started pouring out into it. his hand moved to your hip and yours to his hair as he leaded back and started laying down, you following before you were sitting on top of his hips. You both pulled back for air, panting rather heavily. “D-Do you want-”“We could die today Steve, yes, I want to.” You said, which caused him to nod, a smile covering his lips as he flipped you both over, his finger going to the button on your jeans.

After quite the start to your morning, you and Steve took a shower and got dressed, before joining the rest of the team for breakfast. Thor should be arriving within a few hours, so you were all mostly just waiting for his arrival. You sat next to Steve at the small table that was arranged for you all to eat at, before Tony sat right next to you, a playful glare on his face. “Hey there, little robber.” Tony said, a grin on his face as as he sat next to her, eyeing his own shirt that was clearly present on her body. “I like your clothes, they’re expensive.” She muttered, fighting a smile that was trying to inch it’s way onto her face. This caused Tony to laugh and shake his head before offering her a plate of breakfast, and asking if Steve wanted one too.

A few hours later and they were all in a small room, sitting together while they discussed the possible ways that they could go about getting all of the infinity stones. You tried to talk to Thor, he had spent so many years closed off from everyone including you that just catching up would have been nice, however he had been through so much so anything that wasn’t sleeping or drinking just seemed to be something that he was opposed to. So you spent most of your time with Steve, not like you were complaining since you loved Steve, but you still would have liked to catch up with Thor. But, soon enough the plan was set, and you had all decided that you would begin. You were horrified to say the least, Vormir seemed like a horrible place but you were glad you were going with Steve. He was closest to you, and you had promised to do everything that was able to happen together, no matter how dangerous it may be.

So, as you made your way to the place where you would be time traveling, you were all in your new Team Suits. You were all nervous, that was clear, but everyone tried to put on a brave face. You didn’t know if you would ever see your friends again, so you made sure to say goodbye to all of them. Thor wasn’t thinking straight, but hugging him still felt natural as though some part of your old friend was going to come back out again. Natasha, who you had spent the past 5 years being incredibly close with, was going with Tony, Bruce, Clint and Scott back to New York, you knew she would be safe. You hugged her, and really had a hard time hugging Bruce, but tried your best. Tony was one of the hardest people to say goodbye to, because you were sure you’d see him in a few moments but you were still horrified that something bad was going to happen. So, as you pulled him into a hug it obviously meant something. “You know, all of that shit with Sokovia, that fighting I- There’s not one day I don’t regret hurting you.” You told him, pulling back to make eye contact, to which he nodded. “I know, (Y/N)… why are you telling me this? Don’t you dare plan on dying on me.” He said, trying to make it seem sarcastic but you knew he meant it, he wanted you to come back alive. “I’ll do my best, I just… Nebula called it a Dominon of Death, Tony. If I die, I want you to know that I’m sorry for fighting you. We were friends, I let you down.” You said, guilt clear in your voice. “It was years ago, we all let each other down. It’ll be okay.” He told you, trying to comfort you but also trying to comfort himself. Tony pulled you into another hug, placing a reassuring kiss on your cheek before leading you back to Steve, where you all met.

As you sat on the ship, you were more than nervous. “You know, if you’re this scared we can switch jobs.” Nebula told you, noting how your hands were shaking but you shook your head. “I agreed to do this, you’re the one that knows the most about Morag out of the four of us. It’ll be okay.” You told her, reiterating what Tony had told you moments earlier as you faced Steve. He took a hold of your hand, trying to stop the shaking. “So you two uh…” Rhodey dragged out his word, not really knowing how to say it without making it sound strange. “Oh my god, why Rhodey?” You asked, snorting and looking back at him. “What, you didn’t say I was wrong.” He teased and you rolled your eyes. “Maybe you aren’t.” You said, a grin covering your face as you glanced back to Steve who’s cheeks were beat red, but he knew Rhodey was just trying to calm you down.

Finally, you arrived on Vormir, and you felt like you made the wrong choice in destinations. Vormir was beautiful, it was colorful and it looked like sunrise never ended there. However, it was dark, and it was cold, and you knew that it wasn’t exactly a place that you wanted to be on forever. Steve placed an arm around your shoulder, it was his way of comforting you, but also because both of you were still cold in your suits. You made your way to the top of the hill, but you saw nothing. Before a man in a cape appeared. “Captain Rogers?” Asked the man, know revealing himself to have a red face, he seemed like he was floating. “Schmidt? I thought you were dead.” He said, his face tensing as he looked at him. “When I held the Tesseract, it rejected me, and sent me through dimensions before I reached Vormir. I was sent here to be a stonekeeper, to guard the Soul Stone until someone else comes to retrieve it. "How do I know this is real?” He asked him. You didn’t say anything, You didn’t know this man, but it seemed that Steve did. “(Y/N) (Y/L/N), daughter for (Y/F/N) and (Y/M/N)” He said, and he had no real way of knowing that. “H-How did you know that? That’s classified information, no one knows that.” You said, but you knew he had to be telling the truth. Which is why his next few sentences haunted you. “Because I’m a stonekeeper, I know everything of everyone who approaches to get the stone. And many have, however none have succeeded.” Steve’s brows furrowed, “Why not?” He questioned, his grip around you tightening as your hands started shaking again. “Because to get the Soul Stone, you have to trade a soul.”

Silence. As you processed what he said, it was like the word descended into silence. “One of us has to die?” You asked him, as he continued floating he led you to what was clear to you now was a cliff. “Yes, Ms. (Y/L/N), one of you needs to trade your soul.” Your heart sunk, you needed the stone. Whatever it takes. You knew Steve would run for it, and you were right. “Then it has to be me.” He said, but before he got very far you jumped on him. It didn’t do much, however you shocked him enough that you knocked him over, “No, Steve.” You told him. You got off of him and started running, but he threw his new shield in your way. You stopped, turning to face him, tearing running down your face, your lip quivering. And you could tell he was no better. You needed to say goodbye. You ran to him, wrapping your arms around his neck and kissing him with all that you could, and he returned it. “I lo-love you, more than anything.” You told him, your words stuttered do to the crying. “I love you too, more than anything. More than you know.” He told you, you kissed him again. But while he was distracted you made a run for it. About to dive off of the cliff before he put his shield directly in your way. Lodging it safely in the cliff below where you were about to fall off as his hand grasped yours.

You were losing grip on the cliff, he was losing grip on you. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” You said, trying not to sob. “Steve, I love you, I always have and I wish we had more time but- we have to do whatever it takes. We need to bring-bring them back.” He shook his head, his firm grasp on your hand stopping you from falling, but you both knew there was no way to bring you back up without you trying to come back up yourself. “You promised Tony, I heard you.” “I told him I’d try, and I did Steve. but the world needs you.” “The world needs you too-” “Steve I- You’re a symbol of hope and you always has been. You were given more time on Earth because you needed it, because the future needed you. You need to let me go, I’ll never forgive myself if you die. Just- tell Tony that he’s my best friend, that I love him, and that I’m sorry. Please.” You said, pleading as your grip on Steve’s hand loosened. “Please, please I need you.” Steve begged, he was sobbing now. “It’s okay Steve, it’ll be okay.” You told him, trying your best to smile. Because you wanted him to know that it was your choice, that it would be okay. “I love you.” He said one last time, before he let you go. You kicked off the cliff as best as you could so you wouldn’t knock the shield down, thankfully he was able to grab it in time that it didn’t go with you. And as he looked down at you, realizing that you were actually gone, he was sent into water.

Steve looked around him, sobs coming out of his lips as he looked down and saw the stone, he was then sent back to his time. Everyone was there, everyone besides her and Nebula. Everyone was happy, before they realized that someone was missing. “Steve, where’s (Y/N)?” Tony asked, his eyes going wide as he started looking around, but he then saw the look on Steve’s face, the loss and devastation, the tears streaming down his cheeks. “Steve?” He asked again, and he shook his head. “S-She sacrificed herself for the stone. I tried to stop her.” He said, his words broken and shaky as he met Tony’s eyes, his own still streaming with tears as Tony tried to hold himself together as well. The others realizing what had happened slowly, realizing that you were gone. “She told me to tell you that you’re her best friend, that she loves you, and that she’s sorry.” He repeated, his eyes faltering to the ground. You were gone, Steve’s sole motivation was to avenge you. Because that’s what the group was, The Avengers, and he knew they would Avenge in your honor.

**Author's Note:**

> so there you have it. just as a disclaimer: this is not meant to diminish natasha's death in any way. it's an au, i just wanted to write this angst.


End file.
